Sunday, 22 December 2013

The stars, they shine for you

Hey my love,
See how the stars shine tonight,
So bright and pretty my love,
Just like you.

The stars they shine,
So bright tonight,
Just for you,
My love.

See how the stars shine,
Watch your face light up,
Your smile so big and bright,
You shine from inside,
My love,
The stars and you.

See love,
There in your eyes,
Bright as the stars,
That love lights up inside of you,
I see it now,
All around,

Hey love, see how bright you  shine,
See how the stars light up in your eyes,
See how you shine so bright, tonight,
Just for you.

Saturday, 7 December 2013

A new me

It's funny what happens when life happens,
It stretches you out for your own eyes,
Not the ones on your face, no,
The ones in your heart and soul.
It's like an explanation of you,
Through feelings, images, things,
Just you, bare, you.
This changes you, when you have no choice,
But to look closely with eyes of your heart.
You'll find things you don't like,
Things you love,
Things you're not sure of,
Things you never knew were there,
But it's all you.
Self made, self inflicted, self accepted,
Self imposed.
No one put them there, you allowed them to grow and be.
So you have a choice, gather them all up and go,
As before knowing all shall be as it were,
Or discard what you dislike,
Change what you like to what you love
And go on knowing you are new,
Better, improved.
I fancy a new me,
Because the old me can not continue,
That me was necessary for those lessons,
This me is ready for the new lessons,
This me is wiser, better, but still learning,
This me is all in for me, not him, or them,
Just me.
This me, came out of the lessons,
A new me, means new adventures
And the old me, never liked adventures much,
New me embraces them.

Friday, 1 November 2013

For Us

For those of us that dream,
Let's stand together and push-
For our dreams to come true,
Our hurdles to be springboards,
Our hopes to see reality.

For those of us that do,
Let's stand up and believe-
That whatever is impossible is possible with us,
For all that we ever imagined to realise itself in our hands, sweat, strengths,
For ourselves, for we are all we have to see us through.

For those of us that live
Let's realise-
That all these tears aren't in vain,
That all the hurt isn't for nothing,
That it all gets us nearer our goal, our dream, our destiny.

For those of us that walk a road with very few breaks in this life.
Let's smile-
We are being moulded, sharpened, improved, growing,
We are getting closer,
We are realising our weaknesses and using our strengths to make them better,
We are coming up that long long road.

For those of us with hope, faith, love and understanding,
Know this-
The day will come when our waiting has paid off,
When our hope has brought us what we had faith in,
When our faith has birthed the deepest love we could ever feel,
When love has helped us understand our journey,
When understanding brings us complete peace.

For those of us that are lost,
Believe me when I tell you,
You are not alone, you are not lost,
You are on a journey that has unfamiliar places,
Cold, rain, hurt and pain,
But I promise you, it gets better,
Even when the darkest cloud rolls in,
You are a survivor, you can make it,
You will.

And for those of us that are all in playing field,
Getting hit down or making a touch down,
Let's stand together,
In strength and faith,
Let's do this for eachother,
For those before, those now and those after,
Let's stand.

Magnificent Me.

Show me how to fight for now, show me how to fight for me.

I believe I am capable of so much more, I believe I have been oppressed enough.

Show me how to fight, show me how to win.

I believe I am, all the things I close my eyes and see,
All my dreams, all my hopes, my pure desires,
I am, I am, I am.

Show me how to be me, show me how to be me magnificently.

There are no words to describe me,
I am not easily definable.
They've tried to put labels on me,
They can't, they failed.

Show me how to live like I am the sun, the moon, the stars,
Show me how to live as the me my Creator created me to be.

Friday, 25 October 2013

Down my road

This world is so filled with wonder,
Sometimes I get trapped swallowed under,
This tide-
What is this life?

I've always travelled down the lonely road,
Less taken, no one but just my lonely soul
It gets cold-
But it's all I know.
Is it?

Far from safe I run for shelter,
But there's no tree to hide under from the rain
I feel it down to my bones
I'm growing old-
It's cold.
But am I afraid?

No, no more,
Am I scared?
I can not be anymore,
This life didn't say it would go smooth-
What have I got to lose?

So I shake off all the rain, let the dust slip off,
Start to walk again,
I'm new-
There's a light shinning bright at the end of this road,
I'm coming closer out of the cold,
I feel alive.

And it's sad that I had to go through the pain,
Sad that a war had to come to gain me strength,
Oh how I hurt from within,
But this pain came to make me stronger now,
Bigger battles I'm yet to face,
I might fall again but I refuse to stay down-

No, not down again.

So down my own road I go,
I'm starting a fire to keep me warm,
A bright light to guide my step,
I refuse to slip and fall again,
The road bends in so many ways,
I don't have to be afraid,
I'm not alone.
He's here with me.
Step by step, I'm getting near,
It will all be fine and clear soon,
I know-

And I won't ever run away again,
Won't let pain stop me now,
Won't let hurt break me down,
I'll be better by what I have overcome
Be still-
My racy heart
Be still-
My beating pulse
Be still-
My crowded mind
The only way we'll get further,
Is if you learn to hear her,
The very you beating in the depths of the noise,
The you that speaks when all else is silent
I'm getting nearer.
Afraid no more.
I'm alive and going,
Down my road.

The Dark

Blow out the candle and stand in the dark,
See, there is light, if you stand long enough.

Letters to Younger Selves

As promised, here are a few websites that I found that have letters posted to younger selves from celebrities:

Seth Green;

I found his quite upbeat and sweet.

From famous athletes:

Andy Murray's is quite motivational and I liked Dwight Howard's as well.

And a few others you might like:

Thursday, 24 October 2013

The Letter to the Young You

I have often read letters famous people have written to their younger selves and have wondered, why they wrote them? Maybe that young self had so much self doubt, so much uncertainty, so much unknown.

Or maybe that young self had hoped that they would be exactly where they are right now, in this very moment and the older self is writing with gratitude congratulating their younger self for believing beyond what was expected.

I write a lot of letters too, often to God with whom I believe we all have our very own special connection, I write letters to myself in the now, because I recently went through something very traumatic, I had to talk to myself somehow and since the voices were screaming loudly in my head, the pen and paper fit in perfectly.

So, I'm going to search the net far and wide for those famous letters and I'm also going to write out one to my young self and post it up here. There's so much I never knew would be when I was so young and so free, now at 27, I feel, life is about to round off a whole other decade soon, I have two years to close up my twenties in a really good way; I still want to have a huge amazing 30th birthday party, but for now I'm focusing on making 28 and 29 a great foundation for the 30's (three o's).

Yes, I have waffled about in the 20's but maybe that's what my 20's were for, to lead me to this day, here where now all I want is a great base for the rest of the decades ahead. And if I do die young, hey at least I would have known love, life and other things.

Have a great day!


I once dedicated a poem to you,
Now I see you in a whole other light,
Not that the old you is different, no,
But that this you is another side to you.

Love, you showed me a world unlike any other,
You let me go to the depths of my heart's desire,
You allowed me to sink, emerge, engulf myself in a world unknown,
Love, you allowed me to hurt myself.

You showed me the hurt and pain one could endure,
You taught me lessons, you molded me new,
You re-shaped a heart that I once knew,
Love, you changed me.

Love, this too is dedicated to you,
I am a new woman because of you,
No, it wasn't Love that led me to that road,
Instead, it was Love that pulled me through it all.
The rage that boiled over within,
The hurt that released itself in floods of tears at night,
The pain that revealed itself every moment I was alone,
Love, you carried me through it all.

So Love, as you and I know,
We are nowhere near through,
I have got lots to do and I can think of no other so true, to invite on this journey, than you,
Love, please continue to walk and carry me through.
I am changed for the better, because of you.

The Beginning

Standing at the start of a new road, I hold my hands together and breathe in.
This is it.
The beginning,
The start of something new, something unknown, something scary but so welcome.

I look at the life I have left behind, with its burning memories and it's burnt dreams,
"Don't look back" whispers my heart,
"Don't look back".
There is nothing left there, anymore, nothing at all.
Just what was and that too is gone.

I stare ahead, eyes wide, heart pounding, I am scared but I am ready.
All I have now is what is.
And what is?
Well all I have, is me.
The new version, the one that went through that fire and emerged,
Burning bright with desire to fight for this life.

So this is it, the beginning, the new life, the fresh slate, the start of.
My beginning, the beginning of the new me.

Friday, 11 October 2013

All I Need

Someone to believe in me,
Someone to see the great in me,
Someone besides me.

That's all I need.

Trust beyond myself,
No judgement,
No schemes,

That is all I need.

A partner to witness a life,
A third hand to hold,
Feet to keep mine warm,
A smile to reflect mine,
Eyes to answer my thoughts,
To give peace to my worries.

That's all I need.

Tuesday, 8 October 2013

Keep this secret away from me,
Hide it deeper and deeper within,
Keep it in the dark,
Do not let it out.

This secret starts to grow,
The darkness it was hidden within, it has now become,
Dark and cold,
This secret starts to grow
On the face, in the eyes, blackening the soul.

There is no more to hide,
The secret wants to be let out.

Hush, my secret, do not start to show.
Be still my secret, we can not let them know.

Slowly, slowly, it begins to consume,
Secrets within,
They have the ability to explode.

Slow, now slow,
I have to let my secret go.

But what do I know about how it's truth shall go?
Letting out a secret this big could kill my hopes,
Threaten my dreams, destroy what I have worked so hard for.

Secret, secret, let me go.
I will hide you just a little while more,
But when I let you out, set you free,
Secret, please,
Let go of me.

The Sky Above the Clouds

It's a beautiful sky, somewhere up there,
Above these heavy clouds,
I can catch glimpses of it every now and then,
Before the clouds draw in again.

I know it's waiting for me to claim it as my own,
But somehow, during the course of the day,
I let these heavy clouds take hold.

The path seems so unclear,
Destructive, painful and lonely,
It's never looked this bad before.

Is it really this bad or have I tainted it by the past?

Oh the past!
The wretched past!
It threatens to take my dreams away,
My heart away, my soul away,
My breath away.
The past threatens to reflect in the road that lies ahead.

I hang my head,
The rain from the clouds above gathers in my eyes,
Streams of pain come to life,
They flow, gently, abruptly, heavily, painfully,
Down my cheeks, down my face, onto my vest,
In my hands on the pillows,
Into my life.
They wash me tired,
Tired to the bone,
I could sleep for a day and still sleep more.
These clouds, I want them gone.

Because, somewhere above them, somewhere I know,
There's better weather waiting for me,
See it's bright and cool, warm and sweet,
I see it when the clouds momentarily stray,
That sky there, above the clouds,
That's where I belong.

That's where my life is whole,
That's where hope grows,
Where dreams come to life,
Where frustrations and pain have no home.

Ah but to be in that beautiful sky,
The sky above the clouds.

Women are Stronger

You want to talk about who's stronger,
Man or Woman,
Let me tell you,
Man, you're beat in this category.

I'm not saying it to get attention,
Not a piece of fiction,
But the things we as Woman, go through,
You'll never know.

Life can darken your soul,
Put a hole in a once full wall,
Leave you black and blue,
For just living.

So physically, Women may be weaker,
But God knows we put up with much more than Men ever could.
And if you say, "No", let me ask you;

Could you;
Put up with a cheating spouse, and not cheat yourself?
Put up with the kids screaming loud and still hear yourself?
Live life constantly tired, exhausted from all life's stress and yet still put a meal on the table,
For when your spouse walks in at night?
Could you do that?

Could you;
Forget about yourself, live life for your family,
Forget about the dreams you had cause those babies come first now?
Forget about how tired you are, still please your spouse in bed?

Could you;
Deal with being called a ho, cause that person didn't get all you had?
Deal with trying to show them all up and still be true to yourself?
See your partner flirting up a storm and still be loyal to the end?
Live up to their expectations and not lose yourself?

And when you feel that's all nothing, tell me this,
Can you bear the pain of losing a child, you carried within you?
Pick yourself up, death was inside of you,
Go on with your day,
Life goes on with or without you.

So when they ask are women stronger, yes we are,
Cause even the man that beats his partner down,
Isn't as strong as the woman she is,
Take all the abuse, get up and put on a smile,
Make her house look nice kids feel safe,
She's alright.
And when he lays his hands on her, her body gets weak,
But inside there's a spirit bigger than he will ever be.

So yes, when they ask me,
I'll take it for my team,
We Women were stronger than Man
Since a long time back when.......

Fighting Chance

Don't you ever let anyone tell you you are not worth it,
All of it; your hopes, your dreams, your desires, your hopes.
Don't ever let any situation make you believe you can not achieve it.
That which you dream of, want, hope for, live for.

Give yourself more than a fighting chance,
Give yourself the power to fight for what you want,
Don't ever let anyone tell you, you can not.

And when the hard times come,
When the pain wears you down,
When there is no one to pick you up,
Dust yourself off, my friend,
This alone will make you want your dreams even more.

Get up and give your dreams more than a fighting chance,
Let your feet step forward, step by step,
Remember the experiences and their rich lessons,
Remember the feeling when you were almost there,
Don't give up,

Give yourself more than a fighting chance.

Sunday, 22 September 2013


I find myself giving in to this feeling,
I know I shouldn't but you cut me so deep I'm spinning,
And I try to get hold of me, try to shake it off of me,
But it clings on so strong,
Its all lies, but why do I feel like
They taste better than the bitter truth.

I won't lie to myself anymore,
I'm too old to play at games,
I won't hide from the truth anymore,
There's no hiding place left,

So I'll look at the bottom of this bottle,
Drown all my dreams in it's sorrow,
Cause sometimes, sometimes, I feel,
Life would be much better, at the bottom of a bottle.

No, it's not right,
For sure, it's definitely not okay,
This lie, that a bottles bottom is better than today.

But I feel so numb, the tears, I can't stop them when they come,
Hide my face away, lock away the ones that love me more
Than I love me,

And I feel that sometimes life would be better at the bottom of a bottle,
Lord, take these thoughts away, they cripple me,
I never once looked to the bottom of a bottle,
Oh how life can change,
Lord, help me find my peace before I hit,
The bottom of a bottle.


I lie awake at night, hearing all your lies,
I listen deep inside, afraid of all the lies,
I hear word for word, bit by bit
And I soak myself deeper in this pit,

Cause it would only be easier if I had not been bit,
Only be easier if you and I had never met,

Stop, stop, these sounds in my mind,
Stop them from pounding at my head,
Stop! Stop right now, I'm not sure if I'm alive or left for dead,
Just stop,
Cause your lies, they wreck my head.

I lay asleep in the day, letting life go by,
I hear the tears that I've cried, screeching past my cheeks,
I let the words come out without a single piece of thought,
I drown deeper in the pool of tears you left on my face,

Cause it would only be easier if you and I had never met,
Only be easier if I had not been bit,

Stop, stop from walking all over my pride,
Stop, stop from filling my head with lies,
Stop, this madness deep down in my mind,
Stop, cause I don't think I can go on with these lies.

Wednesday, 21 August 2013

I guess I will be okay

I couldn't find myself even if you showed me,
The reflection in the mirror doesn't seem to know me,
I feel broken in a thousand ways,
Your ways, your lies, how you owned me
And when it all came down to one mistake,
When the world and this Earth all started to shake,
When I needed you there and you weren't by my side.

I guess I'll be fine.
Someday, when all this is over,
I guess I'll be okay,
Soon enough, when all this is over.

There is no excuse for what I agreed to,
Felt so confused when faced with the truth,
And this reflection in the mirror,
She seems like a piece of me that died
And the person staring at her,
Well I can't even tell you who she is!

I guess I will be okay
When all this is over
I will be free
I guess I'll move on with my life,
Someday, somehow,
I will be free, free, free.

Wake up everyday hoping for a change at least,
Maybe this will start the end of everything.
I have only hope, no luck or escape,
Holding on to what I believe,
Sometimes the weakness starts to show.
And I couldn't find myself if you showed me,
Couldn't recognise who is inside if you told me,
Couldn't hear myself if I listened deeply,
I guess, I guess, I will be okay,

Wednesday, 7 August 2013

What it feels like to lose a part of you

I couldn't believe it, didn't want to hear it
'No please,' I cried out, 'Stop! Stop.'
I couldn't bear to hear it
Couldn't bear to feel it
But I feel it everyday
Letting me know what I had and what I lost
Letting me know I will never be the same again
Letting me know I am changed forever
'Please' I sobbed to the wall
My arms held me tight
My eyes gushed
The pain in my soul unbearable
I heard my heart slow down
Beat beat beat
Just a beat
'Stop please' I begged the voices in my head
I do not want to hear anymore
No no
I feel half alive
I feel half lost
I feel half
This is what it feels like to lose a part of you

Sunday, 28 July 2013

It's getting harder and harder to see the old you
I'm finding so many changes this is not you
You've found a level of comfort and its not who
I thought you were.

I'm going through such a big change
You're nowhere there to help
Cried to myself

So when i keep a distance
Don't be surprised
When you call and i don't answer
Don't be surprised

This is where the old me stops.
The new me doesn't know these ropes
Im so lost i wish it would all stop
But the new you loves this new show
Selfish in every way
So please, when its all over let me walk away.

Friday, 10 May 2013

This world wasn't built for I
So much i can not touch
My heart melts with the sudden rush.
I'm lost without my dreams
Unfulfilled fantasies
Sitting here in a world of hopes
With all the walls crashing down on me.

So give me a reason to stay
A reason to accept this way
Don't build me up to cut me down
Don't start me off to just shut me down.

Living in a hopeful dream,
Running wild with these hopes and dreams
Yet these walls keep caving in
Am I a fool to dream?

So please don't build me up
To tear me down and cut me off
Turn me loud just turn on mute
Leave me here with no route
Am I a fool to dream?
A fool to dream?

Wednesday, 17 April 2013

No regrets

Living a life without regret.
Maybe. If I had a crystal ball
And a future flashing away in it.

Sometimes i feel helpless
No point in looking backwards
But no clue of how to get forward.

I write out my pain
Sing out my hurt
And speak my truth
But to no destination
Just lost at this particular station.

Life without regret.

Saturday, 2 February 2013


Some things never change,
They just stay the same,
Time and time again.

Say you've changed,
Life's taught you some lessons
And you're better for it,
A better friend, better person,
A better man.

But why do I feel nothing's changed?
You can give me the words, but words are all the same,
And you're actions tell me what I know.

What I know,
A liar will always have lies to tell,
A player will always be playing some game
And if they seem to have changed,
It's because,
They're lying and playing with someone new.

That's just what they do,
Say they've changed,
But it's nothing new.

You say, you miss my friendship,
We were as close as sisters then things changed,
Believing those lies behind my back,
Pushing me off to hang with real friends.

Girl, now all you want from me is opportunity,
Support me please and help me,
But when I fall and look up,
When I need a hand, when I need my friend
You're never anywhere close.

Yes, somethings will never change,
Liars will always lie,
Players just love the game
Fake friends love to take then leave.

That's what I know,
That's what I know,
Some things will never change.

Friday, 11 January 2013

Sometimes, Love.

Sometimes I start to feel of all I think,
It gets so heavy, wears me down
And I start to wonder "Why?"

Why do I care so much?
Why even when I am last on the list,
Do I make you 1?

Why when I reach out and you shut me out
do I still wait?

Then I remember,
I can never understand Love.
It is what it is.

I can never know Love enough,
To know why I still care
Enough to write, to worry, to think,
To feel.
Even when you are nowhere near to feeling what I feel.

Love is, a mystery that I can never solve.
A feeling that I know too well
And yet sometimes, never know.
Love is what it is
And if I am here, standing, waiting,
On Love,
Then I can't be wrong.
Because only Love can keep me this strong.

Monday, 7 January 2013

A World, at PEACE

I dream of a world at peace.

Where living is free for all to do.
No worries of the evil that may snatch it away.

I dream of a world of equality.

Where women and children can roam free,
Without fear of the horrible nature of humanity
Taking away innocence, life, hope,faith.
That which is one's own to give, not to be taken.

I dream of a world where human rights will fight for those that are deprived,
Not for the criminals that they claim also have rights,
Didn't their victims have those too?

I dream for a world rid of war.

Where mothers don't have to watch their sons go off to die,
In the name of freedom,
Which never comes.

I dream of a world at peace.

Where life is cherished for what it is,
Where children are free to roam the streets and play,
Parents aren't afraid,
Women can walk alone, live alone,
Without fear of being attacked,
Men can make honest livings,
Without fearing for their lives.

I dream of a world rid of disease, illness, viruses.
Free of cancer.
Free of pain.
Free of suffering,
Of things we can not explain, but we can only feel.

I dream of a wolrd where humanity cherishes itself.

I dream of a world at PEACE.

I Know

When I ask how you are,
When you say how you are,
When you  go on and on
When you don't ask how I am,
After an hour, two, three,
I know,
I am not your priority.
I know.

I know.

Found Me At The Wrong Time

I'm sorry to tell you this,
Sorry to have you feel like this,
I thought I was ready but I guess I'm not,
I thought I could forget but I just can not
And if this is love,
You found me at the wrong time.

When my heart is still healing,
From all those falls it shouldn't have been taking,
When my mind is still reeling,
From all the lies I've been told,
When I decided to just be with me,
Found me at the wrong time.

Now I do believe in you,
You're somehow better than what I'm used to,
But even then, the lies cut through the truth,
Trust is not easy,
After all these lies,
After falling so hard I didn't even wince when I,
Hit the ground.

So I'm sorry to waste your time,
My heart's not mended yet,
So, it's all mine
Nothing to do with you at all,
And so you,
Found me at the wrong time.

It's been a while......

Rather, more than, a while! But here I am!☺☺☺☺ Finally! I realise my last post was about death and how ironic that I wrote that and th...