Down my road

This world is so filled with wonder,
Sometimes I get trapped swallowed under,
This tide-
What is this life?

I've always travelled down the lonely road,
Less taken, no one but just my lonely soul
It gets cold-
But it's all I know.
Is it?

Far from safe I run for shelter,
But there's no tree to hide under from the rain
I feel it down to my bones
I'm growing old-
It's cold.
But am I afraid?

No, no more,
Am I scared?
I can not be anymore,
This life didn't say it would go smooth-
What have I got to lose?

So I shake off all the rain, let the dust slip off,
Start to walk again,
I'm new-
There's a light shinning bright at the end of this road,
I'm coming closer out of the cold,
I feel alive.

And it's sad that I had to go through the pain,
Sad that a war had to come to gain me strength,
Oh how I hurt from within,
But this pain came to make me stronger now,
Bigger battles I'm yet to face,
I might fall again but I refuse to stay down-

No, not down again.

So down my own road I go,
I'm starting a fire to keep me warm,
A bright light to guide my step,
I refuse to slip and fall again,
No-
The road bends in so many ways,
I don't have to be afraid,
I'm not alone.
He's here with me.
Step by step, I'm getting near,
It will all be fine and clear soon,
I know-

And I won't ever run away again,
Won't let pain stop me now,
Won't let hurt break me down,
I'll be better by what I have overcome
Be still-
My racy heart
Be still-
My beating pulse
Be still-
My crowded mind
The only way we'll get further,
Is if you learn to hear her,
The very you beating in the depths of the noise,
The you that speaks when all else is silent
Oh-
I'm getting nearer.
Afraid no more.
I'm alive and going,
Down my road.

The Dark

Blow out the candle and stand in the dark,
See, there is light, if you stand long enough.

Letters to Younger Selves

As promised, here are a few websites that I found that have letters posted to younger selves from celebrities:

Seth Green;
http://blogs.wsj.com/speakeasy/2011/10/28/dear-me-seth-green-writes-a-letter-to-his-younger-self/

I found his quite upbeat and sweet.

From famous athletes:
http://espn.go.com/espn/feature/story/_/id/9418365/notes-younger-self

Andy Murray's is quite motivational and I liked Dwight Howard's as well.

And a few others you might like:
http://www.theguardian.com/books/interactive/2011/oct/14/dear-me-celebrity-letters-extract

The Letter to the Young You

I have often read letters famous people have written to their younger selves and have wondered, why they wrote them? Maybe that young self had so much self doubt, so much uncertainty, so much unknown.

Or maybe that young self had hoped that they would be exactly where they are right now, in this very moment and the older self is writing with gratitude congratulating their younger self for believing beyond what was expected.

I write a lot of letters too, often to God with whom I believe we all have our very own special connection, I write letters to myself in the now, because I recently went through something very traumatic, I had to talk to myself somehow and since the voices were screaming loudly in my head, the pen and paper fit in perfectly.

So, I'm going to search the net far and wide for those famous letters and I'm also going to write out one to my young self and post it up here. There's so much I never knew would be when I was so young and so free, now at 27, I feel, life is about to round off a whole other decade soon, I have two years to close up my twenties in a really good way; I still want to have a huge amazing 30th birthday party, but for now I'm focusing on making 28 and 29 a great foundation for the 30's (three o's).

Yes, I have waffled about in the 20's but maybe that's what my 20's were for, to lead me to this day, here where now all I want is a great base for the rest of the decades ahead. And if I do die young, hey at least I would have known love, life and other things.

Have a great day!

Love

Love,
I once dedicated a poem to you,
Now I see you in a whole other light,
Not that the old you is different, no,
But that this you is another side to you.

Love, you showed me a world unlike any other,
You let me go to the depths of my heart's desire,
You allowed me to sink, emerge, engulf myself in a world unknown,
Love, you allowed me to hurt myself.

You showed me the hurt and pain one could endure,
You taught me lessons, you molded me new,
You re-shaped a heart that I once knew,
Love, you changed me.

Love, this too is dedicated to you,
I am a new woman because of you,
No, it wasn't Love that led me to that road,
Instead, it was Love that pulled me through it all.
The rage that boiled over within,
The hurt that released itself in floods of tears at night,
The pain that revealed itself every moment I was alone,
Love, you carried me through it all.


So Love, as you and I know,
We are nowhere near through,
I have got lots to do and I can think of no other so true, to invite on this journey, than you,
Love, please continue to walk and carry me through.
I am changed for the better, because of you.

The Beginning

Standing at the start of a new road, I hold my hands together and breathe in.
This is it.
The beginning,
The start of something new, something unknown, something scary but so welcome.

I look at the life I have left behind, with its burning memories and it's burnt dreams,
"Don't look back" whispers my heart,
"Don't look back".
There is nothing left there, anymore, nothing at all.
Just what was and that too is gone.

I stare ahead, eyes wide, heart pounding, I am scared but I am ready.
All I have now is what is.
And what is?
Well all I have, is me.
The new version, the one that went through that fire and emerged,
Burning bright with desire to fight for this life.

So this is it, the beginning, the new life, the fresh slate, the start of.
My beginning, the beginning of the new me.

All I Need

Someone to believe in me,
Someone to see the great in me,
Someone besides me.

Sometimes,
That's all I need.

Trust beyond myself,
No judgement,
No schemes,
Honesty.

That is all I need.

A partner to witness a life,
A third hand to hold,
Feet to keep mine warm,
A smile to reflect mine,
Eyes to answer my thoughts,
To give peace to my worries.

That's all I need.

Keep this secret away from me,
Hide it deeper and deeper within,
Keep it in the dark,
Do not let it out.

This secret starts to grow,
The darkness it was hidden within, it has now become,
Dark and cold,
This secret starts to grow
On the face, in the eyes, blackening the soul.

There is no more to hide,
The secret wants to be let out.

Hush, my secret, do not start to show.
Be still my secret, we can not let them know.

Slowly, slowly, it begins to consume,
Secrets within,
They have the ability to explode.

Slow, now slow,
I have to let my secret go.

But what do I know about how it's truth shall go?
Letting out a secret this big could kill my hopes,
Threaten my dreams, destroy what I have worked so hard for.

Secret, secret, let me go.
I will hide you just a little while more,
But when I let you out, set you free,
Secret, please,
Let go of me.

The Sky Above the Clouds

It's a beautiful sky, somewhere up there,
Above these heavy clouds,
I can catch glimpses of it every now and then,
Before the clouds draw in again.

I know it's waiting for me to claim it as my own,
But somehow, during the course of the day,
I let these heavy clouds take hold.

The path seems so unclear,
Destructive, painful and lonely,
It's never looked this bad before.

But
Is it really this bad or have I tainted it by the past?

Oh the past!
The wretched past!
It threatens to take my dreams away,
My heart away, my soul away,
My breath away.
The past threatens to reflect in the road that lies ahead.

I hang my head,
The rain from the clouds above gathers in my eyes,
Streams of pain come to life,
They flow, gently, abruptly, heavily, painfully,
Down my cheeks, down my face, onto my vest,
In my hands on the pillows,
Into my life.
They wash me tired,
Tired to the bone,
I could sleep for a day and still sleep more.
These clouds, I want them gone.

Because, somewhere above them, somewhere I know,
There's better weather waiting for me,
See it's bright and cool, warm and sweet,
I see it when the clouds momentarily stray,
That sky there, above the clouds,
That's where I belong.

That's where my life is whole,
That's where hope grows,
Where dreams come to life,
Where frustrations and pain have no home.

Ah but to be in that beautiful sky,
The sky above the clouds.

Women are Stronger

You want to talk about who's stronger,
Man or Woman,
Let me tell you,
Man, you're beat in this category.

I'm not saying it to get attention,
Not a piece of fiction,
But the things we as Woman, go through,
You'll never know.

Life can darken your soul,
Put a hole in a once full wall,
Leave you black and blue,
For just living.

So physically, Women may be weaker,
But God knows we put up with much more than Men ever could.
And if you say, "No", let me ask you;

Could you;
Put up with a cheating spouse, and not cheat yourself?
Put up with the kids screaming loud and still hear yourself?
Live life constantly tired, exhausted from all life's stress and yet still put a meal on the table,
For when your spouse walks in at night?
Could you do that?

Could you;
Forget about yourself, live life for your family,
Forget about the dreams you had cause those babies come first now?
Forget about how tired you are, still please your spouse in bed?

Could you;
Deal with being called a ho, cause that person didn't get all you had?
Deal with trying to show them all up and still be true to yourself?
See your partner flirting up a storm and still be loyal to the end?
Live up to their expectations and not lose yourself?

And when you feel that's all nothing, tell me this,
Can you bear the pain of losing a child, you carried within you?
Pick yourself up, death was inside of you,
Go on with your day,
Life goes on with or without you.

So when they ask are women stronger, yes we are,
Cause even the man that beats his partner down,
Isn't as strong as the woman she is,
Take all the abuse, get up and put on a smile,
Make her house look nice kids feel safe,
She's alright.
And when he lays his hands on her, her body gets weak,
But inside there's a spirit bigger than he will ever be.

So yes, when they ask me,
I'll take it for my team,
We Women were stronger than Man
Since a long time back when.......

Fighting Chance

Don't you ever let anyone tell you you are not worth it,
All of it; your hopes, your dreams, your desires, your hopes.
Don't ever let any situation make you believe you can not achieve it.
That which you dream of, want, hope for, live for.

Give yourself more than a fighting chance,
Give yourself the power to fight for what you want,
Don't ever let anyone tell you, you can not.

And when the hard times come,
When the pain wears you down,
When there is no one to pick you up,
Dust yourself off, my friend,
This alone will make you want your dreams even more.

Get up and give your dreams more than a fighting chance,
Let your feet step forward, step by step,
Remember the experiences and their rich lessons,
Remember the feeling when you were almost there,
Don't give up,
DON'T GIVE UP!
FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT.

Give yourself more than a fighting chance.