Tuesday, 14 June 2016

WILDEST DREAMS

The song is playing in my head now.

But this isn't a post about wild romance.

This is a post about marriage.

Well, the anticipation of it.

My colleague is getting married, he is a forty something year old stuck in his ways slightly mean spirited man who makes it hard to imagine harmony prevailing in his home.
He seems to be highly dominative and I shudder to think that if the woman he has chosen to marry is meek and has no back bone, she will be reduced to whatever ideal he has of a wife in his head.

He paces A LOT when he talks on the phone and it kind of irritates myself and my colleagues as he chooses to use our space loudly, objecting to the other person on the end of the line instead of using his office.

That made me realize, when you marry someone, you're marrying their everything.

Those little annoying habits that may at first seem cute but on a bad day when you've failed to agree or agree to disagree on a matter that is pulling at your emotional clogger, those habits will be annoying and frustrating.

Those little quirks you have will stand out to them like a thick red sore thumb and they'll maybe, probably, want to knock it down because, for goodness sake can you stop pacing that damn floor!

So, marriage, dare I say it not even being engaged in the throws of it yet, is a bag of everything all at once suddenly.
Marry me and marry my countless books collection, my endless music collection, my quirky family, my vibrating alarms at an obscene hour and my love for funny memes and gifs.
Marry my aloofness, my cold hearted bitchy ways and my indifference where even if I care with every ounce of my beating heart, I will make it seem like I hate the ground you walk on.

Because, this is reality.

You spend a hefty amount of money on a day that leads to a lifetime of spending even more money on bills, taxes, children, health, food, clothing, luxuries, family trips e.t.c.
It gets harder if you chose to remain two separate entities, two individuals joined together by a band on your finger.

Choose wisely.

Cause the right person will see those quirks on your worst days as a couple and maybe hope you tripped and fell and thus stopped your annoying pacing but, then they'll think of how much you mean to them and they'll stop and ignore the annoying pacing and focus on sorting the problem because they chose you for who you showed them you are.

Only in my wildest dreams will I ever marry someone that caters to everything my heart desires and everything I want.

Only there.

In reality, perhaps my colleague's soon to be wife loves the pacing, maybe it keeps him calm while she's calculating her next move.
Maybe it gives them both some time for them to figure things out in their minds before they provide possible solutions.

Wildest dreams are, after all, just that, wild dreams that may or may not come to life.

And if they do, on a Monday when the kids are late to get out of the house, the traffic is never ending, little Johnny has dropped juice on his white school short, Lisa is mad because she can't go on that date and Tommy's marks are on a constant slope, when the bills are piling up and the taxes have to be done, when you barely spoke in the morning because, 'all I bloody asked for was you to take out the damn trash", that's when reality begs the question, "Would you change anything?"

I hope, my married friends, your answer all the time is no.

No, I would not.

Because amidst the chaos and the tantrums and the bills and the taxes, there is a love that is stronger than any challenge and as long as we are together, I know we shall be alright.

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