Saturday, 21 March 2015

A Parting Gift

I love who you used to be to me.
You were a hero in my eyes,
The very reason I loved having you in my life.

But you began to show your true self
And you didn't care if that hurt who I was to you.

I cried in front of your truth,
Shed my shields and let you see me for who I was.

You still didn't care that you hurt me so much,
That a part of me broke every single time.

I blamed myself for being so bad in your eyes.
It must have been something I'd done,

"What did I do?" I cried to myself,
Tears rolling down my face,
"I must have done something wrong."
"I truly am useless"
"Worthless"

I lied to myself.

Believed I was incapable of being loved, 
Believed I was stupid,
Those were the words you said,
STUPID.

I believed that was who I was.



Then I started to experience life on my own,
I hit a ceiling and crashed so hard to the ground
I broke so much of myself, I lost a lot of who I was
And who I became questioned everything I had been told.

Wasn't I good enough to be loved?
Wasn't I worth the while?
Wasn't I precious, clever, smart, intelligent?
Wasn't I priceless?

So who I became decided you had no right,
To tell me those words that you knew would crush everything I was.

So I gave up on hearing you,
Listening to you,
Leaning on you,
Believing in you, believing you.

Who I became, who I am,
Wants to say,
That I love you,
You are from my blood,
You are in my skin,
You are from where I am,
But I can never trust another word you say.

I can never hate you,
I can only love you,
But I love who I am more now than before.
And this new love leaves you with this parting gift,

I love you much more than you believe,
But our lines are better running parallel 
I wish you all that you dream and hope for.
I shall clap at your success,
Pray for the best for you,
But I will never let you close enough to hurt me ever again.

This, my dear,
Is my parting gift.

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