When he says what he says

When he says I want you,

I wonder, how?

For a night?
Rustling in his sheets,
Leaving him breathless,
Satiated? Contented? Spent?
Then it's back to you as you and me as me, no we.

I wonder, what does he mean?

For life?
For a partner?
To fight away the hard times,
Celebrate upon the good ones,
To build love, hope, family,
Success?
No longer you as you and me as me but us as we.

When he says I want to know you

I ask myself, for?

For my mind?
My very self?
For me?
To help me create the supernova I was meant to be?
To nurture growth,
To love the imperfect to perfection?
No longer me as only me but also as the me you see.

When he says he will wait

I ask myself, for how long?

Till you walk me down the aisle?
Till you take my hand and declare undying love,
In front of the church, the parents, the friends, Heaven itself?
Until I say I do,
Until I say I am ready,
Until I say, please do?

No longer you as you and me as me but as us melting into each other.

When he keeps silent

I ask, is my truth too heavy for him to hold?
Can he manage to carry the both of us when I am weak and unable?
Can he understand the mind of a woman and the secrets in her heart?
Can he see through them to the very heart of me?
Can he love me for all my flaws?
No longer me alone but me and him,
Together,
Always.

When he says all he says,
I smile,
I wonder,
I ask all these questions silently.
When he says what he says.