Saturday, 25 August 2012

As if I were climbing a mountain

It never seemed so hard to me,
Tough at times but not hard.
Not so bad that I cried on my knees for a miracle,
Not so bad that I felt completely helpless
Not too tough that I couldn't get over it.

 But this time, this last time,
It felt as if I was climbing a mountain.
Like the cold was tunnelling down my chest,
Freezing my breath, making me cry with pain
From not being able to just breathe.

I never felt so lost,
It was completely new.
To witness what I saw, to go through this
Trial.
Trials.

I've never cried that hard,
For love, life, what was.
I just wanted to take it all away,
Put it back where it came from
And wipe it away from the light.

I didn't want this climb, this mountain, this ordeal.
I didn't like it, still don't.

But, when I felt I couldn't find it in me,
I found it in words unsaid- my tears
In the unseen - my faith.
And I drew in a breath,
Winced as I pushed against the wind,
Inhaled more as my limbs grew stronger,
My sight grew clearer and my hope grew bigger.

I climbed this mountain.
And I hope another won't come round for while to come.

Thursday, 2 August 2012

Saying Goodbye

How do I begin? Where should I start?
Tell the truth?
It's too hard.

But, the truth is,
We have to part.

Saying goodbye is never easy.
I don't know how to do it.

Do I sing you a song?
Tell you a story?
Make it seem - nice?

The truth is,
I want it to end now.

Saying goodbye,
I'll listen to my heart,
This one time,
It speaks what my mind wants to hide.
It tells the truth.

Saying goodbye may be hard,
But the truth is,
There is no other way to say it.

So, goodbye,
I wish you the best,
I can never hate you,
Never forget you,
But I will move past this phase.
And in all you achieve, I can only wish you,
The greatest of happiness.
A world full of peace, a smile for all your tomorrows
And a lifetime of joy and rewards.

So there it is,
Me,
Saying goodbye.

Growing.

It's hard to do, growing away from what you knew.

Hard to explain, even when you try your best, it just doesn't come out right.

Tough on you, hard on others, you hope the choice leads to a good outcome.

Away from what you know, how do you explain this to yourself?

Is something we all have to do.

Sometimes we know it, awarness is in everything.

Other times, we least expect it, it shocks us.

Is what I had to do,

Have to do

To get from here to me.

Where I have to be.

Growing, something, we all have to do.

To Some Girls

To some girls,
Life is like one big surprise,
Think you're up but next you're down,
That's just how it goes.

To some girls,
Life has never been so sweet,
Get the best of everything,
Every choice has great rewards.

But to this girl,
Life has been so far bitter sweet,
I learn and grow so quick,
Can't keep up with me.
Life has taught me not to trust,
To always have a defense up,
Not to ever give in too fast.

To some girls,
The world is always big enough,
Time is always by their side,
Prince Charming on his bright white horse,
Careers that soar to the mountain tops,
They seem to have it all.

To this girl,
Young but only just,
Life is showing up so much,
One minute up, the next cut down,
One thing I've learned,

I won't give up,
Like some other girls,
Settle for second best,
"If what I want does not work out, I'll just give in to whatever comes"
NO.
I won't give up,
I'll push against the grain, defy the odds and prove them wrong,
I may not be the luckiest
But I refuse to settle like some girls.

To some girls,
Life may knock us right to left,
Turn the good into the bad,
Surprise us at the worst of times,
Tell us yes then say no,
But girls like us,
We just won't give up.