affected 1 : Jun 9, 2007 6:48 PM

(This was written during a very defining time in my life, I found it today,after four years and could not believe I had managed to get through that moment with these words. Thanks for viewing.)

affected,
by all,
she's never felt this way before.
angered? no, not at all,
she smiles now.
moving on never seemed easier and now she breathes it in,
takes a stand and through this strength,
she sees it all so clearly.
afraid, not any more,
they might've held the cards but she's left that game.
impressive, she doesn't mind,
its for her and not for them.
alone, she's never felt more liberated
whole, she's found a new home.
in her heart, in her mind,
strong beautiful intelligent woman.
made by herself and her Maker,
not by them.
changed by herself for the better,
to smile when she knows she's facing a battle
to turn away from hate and answer with love
to face pain and kill it with understanding
to walk with her head high, what's there to hide from?
to sing with every step,
breathe in all the love and give out twice more.
she's grown!
affected, indeed, by her pain,
her struggle,
the strain,
the love,
the hate,
affected, moved, broken, growing
finally, coming into her own.
affected to be her in and out, truly without any apologies.

QUOTE

"Maybe love is as mysterious as God's ways"

THE ONE THING

There is no depth for you,
No wall you can not break through,
No side of me you can not see.
No side of me you can not lay your hands on.

I am free, like i have never been,
I just want this one thing,
This one uncontrollable desire,
I want so much yet so little,
I just want this one thing.

I'll take all you'll give,
I 'll do all i can, all within my reach,
And even that i can not reach,
I'll build a bridge to get to!
For just this one thing.

Not an emotion,
Not a touch,
Not a feeling,
Though i love all those so much,
Just that one thing.
Just this one thing.

I pray,
I hope,
I dream,
Wish,no, I've heard wishing doesn't work.
So i close my eyes,
Hear the silence, then hear the promise,
The laughter,
The heart, the hearts,
The voice, the words,
See the face, the hands the body,
Feel the heart, the life, the love

And i would change what i needed to for just,
This one thing.

I FOUND IT

I found it at the bottom of a long hard day,
At the end of each tear,
In the gasp of every heavy breath,
In my own ear.

I found it where I least expected,
When i never thought I had it,
When I thought I'd lost it,

I found it in my prayers,
In my arms,
In my thoughts,
In my words to myself,

I found it.

I found it in the dark tunnel,
When I looked for a light but found non,
When i listened for a voice but heard non,
When i realised, I am alone, in this place,
Alone.

I found it in the light that I had hidden so well in my soul,
In the sound of my sighs as I waited for hope,
In me, as I began to see a light I had never known,

I found it.
I found it.
I found it.

Strength was always there,
In my tears,
In my sorrow,
In my dreams,
In my hopes,
My disappointments,
My achievements or lack of,
My losses, my wins,
My dark tunnels, my lit skies,
My everydays, my tomorrows
It brought me through my past,
It's taking me through my present
It's helping me face my future,
It is mine,

I found it.

TURN AND RUN

If I chose to turn and run, from what i have had a hand in creating,
I'd be lying to myself. I'm so out of my depth,
But I'm not trapped in this situation, no
I am not imprisoned by anything, I am free
To Turn and Run.

Bu t I choose to be here, tonight, tomorrow, yesterday, today and always,
I don't want to Turn and Run,
Out the door, out the process, out of something beautifully flawed yet so perfect.

T he world never said it'd be on our side,
It never promised to make it easy,
Never promised to make it okay when it feels otherwise,
But I promised myself, time and time again,
That I would finish all that I have put my hands on,
All that my heart has created,
All that I long for, deeply, desperately, wholly, completely.

Turn and Run, was never an option,
So I plant my foot hard on this ground,
Navigating is hard when it is all new,
I refuse to Turn and Run,
I believe this journey, has just begun.

So I'm strapping on my gloves, lacing up my boots,
Putting on my armour and getting ready to brace the waves,
The waves of possible impossibilities,
Non believers, non understanding, rejection,
The waves that say, "GIVE UP!" , the tides that leave me tired,
Breathless and unmotivated,
I am willing to fight and fight with all I have,
All I am, All I ever will be, All I have, here, today, now, tomorrow
And all the tomorrows after that, I am willing to refuse
To Turn and Run.

QUOTE

The Problem with baring your depth is receiving only a surface in return.

HEALING

I choose to turn a blind eye to the wrongs of the past,
Holding on will darken my soul and I choose light,
I'd rather be shinning bright than burning bright with a darkness infinite and whole.
I choose to keep a light soul.

Sometimes we allow ourselves to remember the pain,
The way we felt, the way we hurt,
We give in and cry, scream, shout,
Hurt.

But only for a moment,
Then the healing has to continue.

You see, even before the mind knows it,
The soul feels it, and the mind begins to prepare for a Healing,
Just by the feeling, without actually knowing,
The mind prepares itself from the soul's command.

So there, you have it,
Choose a soul of light and allow it to burn bright,
Because the Healing starts way before the mind can conceive it,
Before the body can feel it, before the eyes can see it,
But never before the soul acknowledges it.

A soul of light, a life of healing.

DEDICATED TO LOVE

I find You are the sole purpose for what we all do,
What we all endure, persevere,
What we allow to go through, to do,
Who we become, who we are, were, are going to be.

I find there is nothing more painful, more hurtful,
Than letting the people you love hurt you,
The things you love leave you,
Love is painful, when it has to be.

But I also find, there is nothing more uplifting, more fulfilling,
More saving, more reassuring,
Than knowing that LOVE will see you through,
Will get you by,
Will allow you to open your eyes,
Cast the pain, the truth, the lies, the secrets, the tears aside,
Help you move on, re-create, re-start, re-build, re-grow,
But LOVE.

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE.

The reason for all we do,
All we are,
All we have,
All we want,

LOVE.

This is dedicated to you.