Longing

I sit here in utter disbelief,
"It can't be," my mind thinks.
How after all this time am I suddenly cast away,
Like a lost sheep?

Don't I have an identity I wonder,
Aren't I allowed to be?
Part of here, part of them, part of us, part of we?

I can not understand this.
Who am I to them?

An outsider? A wannabe? A fake?

A phony.

Wow, mercy on me.

I'm now being branded a fake.

I blink back my rage. My anger. My abandonment.

I guess what they say is true, without that face, you can never really be here like them.

I am now foreign. Now someone that wants to belong but can not.
Someone that thinks they belong but do not.

Someone that should find where they belong.

And yet all I have ever had is the longing to belong.