Wednesday, 21 August 2013

I guess I will be okay

I couldn't find myself even if you showed me,
The reflection in the mirror doesn't seem to know me,
I feel broken in a thousand ways,
Your ways, your lies, how you owned me
And when it all came down to one mistake,
When the world and this Earth all started to shake,
When I needed you there and you weren't by my side.

I guess I'll be fine.
Someday, when all this is over,
I guess I'll be okay,
Soon enough, when all this is over.

There is no excuse for what I agreed to,
Felt so confused when faced with the truth,
And this reflection in the mirror,
She seems like a piece of me that died
And the person staring at her,
Well I can't even tell you who she is!

I guess I will be okay
Eventually
When all this is over
I will be free
I guess I'll move on with my life,
Someday, somehow,
I will be free, free, free.

Wake up everyday hoping for a change at least,
Maybe this will start the end of everything.
I have only hope, no luck or escape,
Holding on to what I believe,
Sometimes the weakness starts to show.
And I couldn't find myself if you showed me,
Couldn't recognise who is inside if you told me,
Couldn't hear myself if I listened deeply,
I guess, I guess, I will be okay,
Eventually.

Wednesday, 7 August 2013

What it feels like to lose a part of you

I couldn't believe it, didn't want to hear it
'No please,' I cried out, 'Stop! Stop.'
I couldn't bear to hear it
Couldn't bear to feel it
But I feel it everyday
Letting me know what I had and what I lost
Letting me know I will never be the same again
Letting me know I am changed forever
'Please' I sobbed to the wall
My arms held me tight
My eyes gushed
The pain in my soul unbearable
I heard my heart slow down
Beat beat beat
Just a beat
'Stop please' I begged the voices in my head
I do not want to hear anymore
No no
I feel half alive
I feel half lost
I feel half
Incomplete
Unfinished
Done
Over
Ruined.
This is what it feels like to lose a part of you